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Recently dad told me "Gusman, you're getting way
behind in your email, buddy". I
thought about it. Over... and over... and over.
ZZZZ.... ZZZZZ.... ZZZZZZ....
Oops, sorry. Anyhoo,
I've decided to just go ahead and respond to all the faks
at once. Right
here. Some
questions I get asked repeatedly and others I just find
fascinating. Dad,
the Q-cards, please... |
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Say Gus, what made you decide to
build a website? |
Gus:
Well,
initially dad thought it would be
a way cool dog trick. But if you
really want to know the truth, I
only got enthused when I realized
I could use it to attract the
swooning adoration of cutesy
female golden retrievers
worldwide.
Maybe sell stuff, too. ;) |
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Gus, you look like you have the
"good life". What do you do to
earn it? |
Gus:
Well, I do
perform several jobs around the
house that let me live the
"good life" with a
clear conscience. Some of the
regular ones are:
- Waking up
mom. First I try to lick
her armpits. If I can't
find 'em or if she covers
up and yells "go
away", I sit on her.
- Greeting
committee. I jump on
everyone who comes
through the front door.
It's my way of thanking
them for coming to see
me. I thank them for
about 10 minutes.
- Yard patrol.
I like it and dad says
I'm good at it. I
particularly monitor the
hallowed grounds of
designated rawhide burial
sites.
- Other odd
jobs on an as-needed
basis.
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Gus, your dad is reported to
have said, "if that dog would just
stop digging, he'd be perfect". Do
you have any comment on this? |
| Gus:
There's not
much I can do about it 'cause I
think it has to do with breeding.
Some GRs are bred as show dogs
and some are bred as field dogs.
I think I must have been bred as
a garden dog. |
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In your favorite movie, The
Wizard of Oz, who do you identify with
most, the Lion, the Tin Man, or the
Scarecrow? |
| Gus:
Well, the
Lion wanted courage and I have
plenty of that. The Tin Man
wanted a heart and I have a great
big one of those. But the
Scarecrow wanted brains - now
THAT I can identify with! |
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Hey Gus, have you heard any good
jokes lately? |
| Gus:
Not really,
but here's my favorite... A tourist
goes into a bar, and there's a
dog sitting in a chair, playing
poker. The tourist asks, "Is
that dog really playing
poker?" The bartender says,
"Yeah, but he's not too
good. Whenever he has a good
hand, he starts wagging his
tail."
Hilarious!
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How about cartoons - you got a
favorite one of those? |
| Gus:
You bet.
Here it is. If I ever make any
money, I'm takin' horse lessons. 
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So Gus, do you have any advice
for someone who is thinking about getting
a Golden Retriever puppy? |
| Gus:
Good
question, cause I oughtta know... Firstly,
try to ignore the fact that GR
pups are the cutest little
muffinheads on the planet. When
you take one home and blink 3
times, you have an 80 lb., 140
mph love machine that refuses to
be anywhere but by your side. Be
sure this is the kind of el doggo
for you.
Secondly,
have a yard and fence it. This is
not negotiable. GRs must romp the
carbon off their spark plugs
daily. If you can't do this, get
a pocket dog.
Thirdly,
find a reputable breeder. *Do
Not* do the classified ad thing
or the pet store thing. Be
patient and be prepared to wait -
it'll make a huge difference in
the quality of your about-to-be
best friend.
Lastly,
read every word of GRs in
Cyberspace. It's just
a click away.
OK,
now you're on your own. Woof.
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Do you have any goals for the
upcoming year? |
| Gus:
Yeah, I'm
chewin' on a few ideas. Dad says
that if I took excavating from a
hobby to being a business I could
do it in some other yard AND get
paid for it, too. Hmmm, this idea
may have merit.
Other
than that, I just plan to help
make more nice photos (of me, of
course) and possibly write an
article, "HTML for
Sofadogs".
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Do you know who's buried in
Grant's Tomb? |
| Gus:
I know it's
Grant, but it always comes out
"Grunt". |
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Last question, Gus. How does dad
describe you to people who have never met
you? |
| Gus:
All I know
is I keep hearing him say,
"Gus is the friendliest dog
in the world". |
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